One of the things that I have been told from a very young age is that “why?” is one of the most important questions anyone can ask.
One explanation I have for this is that everything in this world exists or happens for at least one reason. Sometimes more, but never less. Sometimes the reasons are unreachable. Sometimes the reasons are withheld from you deliberately, and in one particular case of such I still live in fear that I’m going to repeat whatever social misstep led to such a thing having had no opportunity to find out what it was, let alone learn from it.
It’s kind of a shame, then, that I’m unusually bad at self-reflection.
Why I do certain things is something of a mystery to me. When not on a job I am being paid for (and even then, sometimes), I tend to gravitate towards certain activities that could very easily be argued do not enrich my life. Almost none of that time is spent being a creator.
However, I’ve made a choice to start this blog, and I know exactly why that is.
It’s not easy for me to open my thoughts sometimes, even if it’s likely that no one will actually see them. By blogging, that’s what I hope to begin doing and slowly becoming more comfortable with.
I also hope that maybe by revealing myself like this I can reveal myself to… myself. I don’t know at all what I want to do with my life and that’s not okay. Can this help me decide that? I could see whether it’s worked for other people, but I’m not sure who I’d ask. I’ll make an experiment of it instead.
“Why?” is most powerful when you use it on yourself.